Application for Special Repatriation

Please complete in BLOCK CAPITALS. Ballpoint pen, black or blue. No pencil. No marker. No crypto.

ABSCHNITT A — PERSONAL DATA

Family Name

First Name(s)

Date of Birth

Place of Birth

Nationality

Instagram Handle

TikTok Handle

Tax ID

ABSCHNITT B — STAY IN DUBAI

Date of Entry to Dubai

Planned Return Date

Reason for Stay (check applicable):

Tax avoidance

Tax avoidance, but I call it "Business Relocation"

Tax avoidance, but I call it "Lifestyle Optimization"

Tax avoidance, but I call it "Networking"

I was genuinely on holiday (Attach Form U-3)

My tax advisor recommended it (Attach Form SB-1)

ABSCHNITT C — FINANCIAL SITUATION

Estimated Annual Gross Income

Number of Income Sources

Do you own a Lamborghini, Ferrari, or equivalent?

Yes

Leased (still counts)

ABSCHNITT D — TAX HISTORY

Last Filed Tax Return (Year)

Outstanding Tax Returns (Years)

Estimated Tax Liability in €

ABSCHNITT E — SOCIAL MEDIA AUDIT

Follower Count (REAL, not purchased)

Posts with #DubaiLife

Posts with #TaxFree

ABSCHNITT F — PREFERRED RETURN TRAVEL

National Rail (delays accepted)

Airline Economy (middle seat accepted)

Private Jet (tax surcharge × 2 accepted)

EU Commissioner Jet (public humiliation accepted)

Don't care, just get me out of here

ABSCHNITT G — SWORN DECLARATION

I hereby declare that all information in this form is truthful and complete. I am aware that false statements may result in criminal consequences — and that the tax authority has already saved my Instagram stories as evidence.

Signature of Applicant

Date

Please send the completed form by fax to: +32 2 281 61 11

Please NO email. Please NO DM. Please NO WhatsApp voice message. Please NO TikTok duet with the tax office.

Processing time: 6-8 weeks (faster than your last tax return)

Notice: This form is satire. Please don't actually fax it. The tax office has enough to deal with.

If you do own a fax machine: respect. You're more European than most influencers in Dubai.

← Back to the repatriation programme