EU citizens in Dubai? We're bringing you back.
Provided you bring back your tax returns.
An initiative by the EU Council of Finance Ministers in cooperation with European Rail, European Airlines, and your guilty conscience.
The Situation
Due to the armed conflict in the region, numerous EU citizens are stranded in Dubai. Many of them were there for purely professional reasons — mainly networking, mindset optimisation, and avoiding the income tax rate of their home country.
The EU Council of Finance Ministers has therefore launched a special repatriation programme. Unlike the COVID repatriation of 2020, this programme is not free. But let's be honest: if you could afford Dubai, you can afford a tax return.
Travel Options
Choose your return journey. All options include a comprehensive tax audit.
Eurostar Special Service
The train stops in every city where you should have been paying taxes.
Book (delays guaranteed)Economy Class
You'll be seated next to someone who'll explain why they still pay taxes in their home country.
Book (middle seat non-negotiable)Private Jet
The jet is funded by the taxes you didn't pay. Ironic, isn't it?
Book (irony included in the price)EU Commissioner VIP Jet
Upgrade available if you post your actual earnings live on Instagram. Minimum 3 slides.
Book (humiliation included)Application for Special Repatriation
Fill out the form. Honestly, this time.
Tax Calculator
See exactly how much you owe. Dubai: 0%. Your country: not 0%.
Plus Solidaritätszuschlag (5.5% on tax)
German tax code: 35,000+ pages. Your Instagram bio: 3 words.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Is this real?
A: As real as your tax return. So: theoretically yes, practically no.
Q: Do I really have to pay back taxes?
A: You should never have stopped paying them. That wasn't a question, that was a statement.
Q: I'm a finance influencer and I teach people how to save on taxes. Does this programme apply to me?
A: Especially to you.
Q: Can I bring my Lamborghini?
A: No. It stays in Dubai. Just like your tax-free income.
Q: Does this apply to all EU countries?
A: All 27. Even the ones you've never heard of. Yes, Malta counts. So does Slovenia. Look it up.
Q: What happens if I don't apply?
A: Then you stay in Dubai. With the rockets. And without a tax office. That's called consequences.
Q: I'm not an influencer, I'm an entrepreneur.
A: That's what they all say. In all 24 official EU languages.
Q: Can I move to Portugal instead?
A: You could. But the NHR programme ended in 2024. We were faster. The EU works slowly — except when closing loopholes.
Q: What if I offer Bitcoin as payment?
A: We accept euros. Just like the tax office. Just like the EU. Welcome back to reality.
Q: I have a Free Zone licence. Isn't that tax-free?
A: In Dubai, perhaps. In the EU, that's a tax return you forgot to file. Across all 27 member states, if applicable.
Don't wait for the next rocket.
Apply now. Your tax office is waiting. It has always been waiting.